sad-queer
Anonymous: when you say #me do you mean you are jesus because i would be down for a religion that praises how hot you are 

(ᵒ̤̑ ₀̑ ᵒ̤̑) wow!*✰

"For some abusive men, the blame-the-childhood approach has an additional reason for being appealing: By focusing on what his mother did wrong, he gets to blame a woman for his mistreatment of women. This explanation can also appeal to the abused woman herself, since it makes sense out of his behavior and gives her someone safe to be angry at—since getting angry at him always seems to blow up in her face. The wider society, and the field of psychology in particular, has often jumped on this bandwagon instead of confronting the hard questions that partner abuse raises. Abuse of women by men is so rampant that, unless people can somehow make it women’s own fault, they are forced to take on a number of uncomfortable questions about men and about much of male thinking. So it may seem easier to just lay the problem at the feet of the man’s mother?"
- Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That (via seebster)

(Source: notcisjustwoman, via seebster)

Anonymous: You are so hot OMG 

thx ;)

sad-queer:

by Sam Alexander 

Many discussions about fat acceptance and fat-phobia are dominated by white feminists, and revolve around societal standards of beauty for white, cis-, women. Unsurprisingly absent in some of these discussions is how internalized racism can fuel body negativity, and even more absent is the topic of gender dysphoria in regards to fat acceptance.

The common narrative we are supposed to follow is to overcome internalized racism and internalized misogyny to accept ourselves. This oversimplified message of self-acceptance neglects to talk about self-love as a process that never ends, and often places the onus solely on the individual to resist constant and relentless shaming and oppression. And when gender presentation and gender dysphoria are in the mix, it becomes even harder to follow the narrative of “learning to love your body.” Can we distinguish feelings in ourselves that come from internalized oppression versus feelings that stem from societal perceptions of our gender?

As a fat person, I am supposed to fuck conventional beauty standards and embrace my sexiness. As a mixed-race person of Asian descent, I am supposed to fuck my internalized racism and embrace and reclaim my culture. But how do those two narratives of self-love play off of each other and possibly even oppose each other? And where does my gender identification fit into my culture? There is also my gender dysphoria, which often has roots in my fat distribution (i.e. carrying more weight in my breasts, hips, etc. and only being read as a woman). And how might this be different when we take into account (dis)ability? It’s a bit of an intersectional mess.

We can see that it is nearly impossible for many individuals to pick apart the roots of their unhappiness with their bodies- and learning self-love is not always the commonly validated choice. The problem is reconciliation between the bodies we want, the bodies we could feasibly have, and the bodies we have now. Where self-confidence lies on that spectrum varies by individual, but we must always be mindful and critical of where our body insecurities may be coming from.

Perhaps we should set aside the message of “learning to love our bodies” and open more discussions about “unlearning body hate” in all forms. This means not only being critical of how we feel about our own bodies, but how we feel and react to all bodies. It means critiquing misogynistic, racist, ableist, capitalistic, classist, and cissexist ideals of beauty. It means discerning between having personal preferences and assuming that everyone shares those preferences. It means critical consumption of media. It means learning to appreciate all bodies, not just our own, and adopting a stance against body hate as a life-long, collective process. It means no one should have to be alone in loving their body.

(Source: fauxromantics)

heckacute:

It’s difficult for me to comprehend how many pizzas I want to buy you. 

(via snaildweeb)

"The problem is that white people see racism as conscious hate, when racism is bigger than that. Racism is a complex system of social and political levers and pulleys set up generations ago to continue working on the behalf of whites at other people’s expense, whether whites know/like it or not. Racism is an insidious cultural disease. It is so insidious that it doesn’t care if you are a white person who likes black people; it’s still going to find a way to infect how you deal with people who don’t look like you. Yes, racism looks like hate, but hate is just one manifestation. Privilege is another. Access is another. Ignorance is another. Apathy is another. And so on. So while I agree with people who say no one is born racist, it remains a powerful system that we’re immediately born into. It’s like being born into air: you take it in as soon as you breathe. It’s not a cold that you can get over. There is no anti-racist certification class. It’s a set of socioeconomic traps and cultural values that are fired up every time we interact with the world. It is a thing you have to keep scooping out of the boat of your life to keep from drowning in it. I know it’s hard work, but it’s the price you pay for owning everything."
- Scott Wood (X)

(Source: luvyourselfsomeesteem, via weareallmixedup)

"

I once told a joke about a straight person.

They came after me in droves.

Each one singing the same:

Don’t fight fire with fire.

*

What they mean is: Don’t fight fire with anything.

Do not fight fire with water.

Do not fight fire with foam.

Do not evacuate the people.

Do not sound the alarms.

Do not crawl coughing and choking and spluttering to safety.

Do not barricade the door with damp towels.

Do not wave a white flag out of the window.

Do not take the plunge from several storeys up.

Do not shed a tear for your lover trapped behind a wall of flame.

Do not curse the combination of fuel, heat, and oxygen.

Do not ask why the fire fighters are not coming.

*

When they say: Don’t fight fire with fire.

What they mean is: Stand and burn.

"
- Stand and Burn by Claudia Boleyn.  (via claudiaboleyn)

(via veganweedsoup)

on weekends my partner sells ice cream at the park out of an ice cream cart tricycle

they are a sweet little ice cream angel i think and it makes my heart ache

I was so stoned last night that I set a nine and a half hour timer instead of my alarm